You think that I will show you all my scars?
You want me to perform some sick striptease –
open my heart to you, reveal my flaws?
What right have you to see what no-one sees?
You sense me brooding over my dark times,
tell me confessing all will set me free,
as if the past can be re-made by rhymes.
The stories I hold hidden cannot be
left lightly fluttering, like butterflies –
what secret guilts do you think you’ll uncover?
I clasp the memories of the times I failed,
I hold those memories tight as any lover –
you’d mould my pain into some fairy tale,
for in the end, confession is betrayal.
Anmol at dVerse is challenging us to write confessional poetry. A lot of my poetry is confessional – I think that’s the nature of poetry. In fact, I probably reveal more about myself than I realise whenever I write. This is, of course, a poem that claims not to be confessional, but there you go. Read it as a confession of my secretive nature… It’s also the last of my sonnets for this month’s sonnet challenge. This is the terza rima sonnet – you’ll notice the interlocking 3 line rhyme scheme. I needed to get one written, it was bugging me.
To wear a mask covering the scars is also a confession of sorts… we cannot hide them, and by telling that we are not confessing we are showing it all… love the double meaning in that.
What a wonderful use of the rhymescheme, and such a nice sonnet where it never feels forced in terms of rhymes.
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Your poetics are so clever, the sonnet never revealed itself. I thought it was prosody, closer to Plath. Humans are so complex, it is always a lesson to read the poetry of others.
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Inevitably, our words and poetry reveal ourselves. I keep some stories to myself too, never revealing too much. I specially like this line in your sonnet: what secret guilts do you think you’ll uncover?
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Good point: “What right have you to see what no-one sees?”
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Cleverly accomplished and bravo on the form!
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Thank you.
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This poem might have pushed your readers away. But it is too clever for that. This is the type of poem which draws us in. Very clever last line. Always enjoy your poems.
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Thank you.
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Nicely argued – ironically we become what we cling to. Thought-provoking piece.
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I feel anger and mistrust but that’s probably my own feelings at being asked to spill my guts for the world to see. I like your form but feel it is a wall.
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Well, it is a wall, I guess. But it’s also about being secretive, which is not necessarily a good thing. I was also thinking about how we neutralise things by turning them into ‘stories’.
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Do you think neutralising things by turning them into stories is a positive or negative thing? or does it depend?
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That’s a good question! I think it can be very helpful, but it can also be distancing.
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by putting them into a written or verbal format you are using the opposite side of the brain than the feeling/emoting/intuiting brain, so that would make sense….
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I hadn’t thought of that. I guess a lot of therapy is about trying to match up thoughts and feelings that have got out of kilter with each other.
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You’ve made me think! I need to sleep now, though! Good night, Jade 🤔😴
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Well written Sarah. I abstained from posting on this one because my regrets are too dark and raw. I like hiw you approached this…
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Wonderful poem Sarah, it really seethes in places.
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A confessional poem needs direct address and rhetorical questions, Sarah, and you’ve done that so effectively in this well-formed sonnet. There’s an edge to it and plenty of defiance, especially in the lines:
‘You want me to perform some sick striptease –
open my heart to you, reveal my flaws?’
and
‘I clasp the memories of the times I failed,
I hold those memories tight as any lover’.
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I loved the encapsulation of rhymes in this narration — it’s confession alone that brings about this strong and assertive voice of the self, the ‘I’, the persona, as it becomes the point of attention in this soliloquy.
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The confession leaks out of this even if you hold memories of failure as tight as any lover. You seemed to write this sonnet effortlessly, Sarah…I’m impressed!
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Blushing. Not that effortless. But i was hoping to be an unreliable narrator, confessing even as I refused to confess, if that makes sense.
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I think I get that now 🙂
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Well done Sarah.
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Now THAT was fascinating. Clear, pointed , precise. I have heard people write against “forgiveness” in a similar sense. It all depends on the sense of power, of vulnerability or of the listener and more. I confessed in my poem, no problem being open about that one, but I am sure I have others (though few) that I would not share on d’Verse — on a public blog.
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You know, Sara, of the poems I’ve read so far, one way people hide their confession is to write something so abstract that you have no idea what the writer is saying — all the secrecy hide under the guise of poetic license, I guess. Yours was pleasantly straight forward.
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I do my best!
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Very nicely done! Your non-confession reveals more than your stated words! It is very hard to confess your faults to another without a sense of trust… and then it is still hard! Your poetic verses work very well!
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I like unreliable narrative
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I love the tone of the narrator’s voice, and what a lovely sonnet too! (K)
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Great sonnet, exceptionally so for me because the seams were invisible … I’m not sure what a confessional poem these days might be, or one which would deserve the handle because just about everything we write these days is dipped in confessional ink. What isn’t confessional — yet I think you get to the nib of the point when you resist such public nakedness and ask if our readerly curiosity in your affairs isn’t a little imprudent. I once wrote some very florid erotic poets, bandied the language pornographically — great power in that, but sacred and so public expression should be guarded. Besides, it turns out that what’s revealed in the flashes of the strip-tease — the underside of an outer garment — tells us much more about the heat of the heart than the usual blinding frictions. Turns out maybe we never learned to be that confessional after all, simply a betrayal–just words. Heart of the heart is so much the poem we haven’t yet written but try to. Well done.
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This is brilliant and portrayed so elegantly! I was put in the mind of Plath. ❤️
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I think you say it all in the last couplet. So much ‘analysis’ is simply to puff up the analyser, in the same way that what some would call confession is really exhibitionism. You’re right to keep privacy in perspective.
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Very very nice sonnet!
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I like this unconfessional confession sonnet, and the sort of defiance of the narrator. The sonnet itself seems so effortless, though it does make me think about accents and how words are pronounced.
I really like your final couplet that kind of sums it all up.
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I enjoyed this immensely. Just like me thought over form. If you have time do visit my poem Here
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Clever. You reveal a lot and nothing concrete at the same time here. Thanks for sharing Sarah! I am a Creative Life Coach and have a poetry blog in case you have time to read? http://www.peacockpoetryblog.wordpress.com and I am also on Instagram as #coachingcreatively, let’s follow each other if you use this medium? Have a good day? Sam 🙂
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