The light is gone – for Jane Dougherty

Jane has asked us to write a trillonet. She likes to keep us on our toes! The trillonet has to start with the words “The light is gone”. I’ve written her two. Let’s see which she likes best…

One

The light is gone, it’s left me sitting here,

Alone, in darkness, waiting for a sign,

To say the sun will rise again for me.

The warmth is gone, the last few rags of cheer,

I pulled around me, thinking they were mine,

But like the evening clouds, they’ve floated free.

The glow is gone: the world is grey and drear;

The colours faded, bleached as if by time;

There’s nothing lovely here that I can see.

You took my light, my warmth, my glow away,

Leaving me yearning for the coming day.

Two

The light is gone, we’re making our way home,

Wrapping ourselves together, seeking out

The warming comfort of each other’s skin.

Around us, leaves are scattered and are blown,

The evening wind is throwing them about;

We tread them underfoot, we feel them cling,

But we don’t care, the wind can howl and moan,

The fire is lit, the supper’s been laid out, 

The door is open wide to let us in.

And we’ll sink into friendly light and heat,

Warm our cold hands and soothe our tired feet.

I think the second one is a little bit hobbit-y…

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13 thoughts on “The light is gone – for Jane Dougherty

  1. I like the hobbit-y one, the warmth and cheer after a day’s adventure. 🙂
    But I also love these lines in the first poem:

    The warmth is gone, the last few rags of cheer,
    I pulled around me, thinking they were mine,
    But like the evening clouds, they’ve floated free.

    Like

  2. I like both, but the melancholy of the first is intriguing.
    (The link in your comment for Jane’s challenge is for the challenge, so I added this link as a reply to yours.)

    Like

  3. How come I missed this? Ah! Reading the comments I see why. I didn’t realise Ken’s link was to somebody else’s poem. Sorry about that, Sarah. I like the first one best. I like the flow of it and the sentiments. I see where you get the Hobbit feeling in the second one 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: Poetry challenge Drowning leaves: the entries – Jane Dougherty Writes

  5. I like them both. I liked some of the individual lines in the first poem very much, “the last few rags of cheer, I pulled around me, thinking they were mine,” and the colors bleached, but the second one made me feel happy, and I could picture this couple returning to their warm home.

    Liked by 1 person

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