Uncharted Waters – flash fiction for Jane Dougherty

I rolled my eyes. The first humans to make footfall on E3137 and Jed was already planning to dissect the local life forms. We’d wrecked Earth and now we were starting again somewhere else. I had kind of hoped we’d be coming in peace.

 

“I’m going in”, his voice came clearly over the intercom. “I think I can get a clear shot with the tranq gun”.

 

As he wriggled, commando style, towards the – birds? Pterosaurs? What were they? – a fine mist began to drift towards us. They looked so peaceful, weaving a gentle dance, their outlines blurred by the cloud around them.

 

“It’s coming from them!” – he sounded excited – “A defence mechanism, I think? To hide them from predators? How do they do that?”

 

The mist grew thicker. I heard a choking sound from Jed – I couldn’t see him.  I shouted his name. Radio silence.

 

I looked down at my suit. It looked strange – it was melting! Acid, I realized, in aerosol form. A cloud of acid – one hell of a defence.

 

I turned and started to run.

 

This is for Jane Dougherty’s microfiction challenge. The words this week are unchartered waters. 

ChelmonskiJozef.1870.OdlotZurawi

Advertisements

10 thoughts on “Uncharted Waters – flash fiction for Jane Dougherty

  1. Great little story! I like the way you build up the suspense by using jokey sort of language that contrasts with the strange situation, and how you put in all the necessary backstory in just a few words. One technical nit.
    ‘a fine mist began to drift towards us. They looked so peaceful,’
    There’s a word for it but I don’t know what it is, maybe a dangling modifier (?) but the ‘they’ technically refers back to the ‘fine mist’. You need to say ‘The birds’ instead of ‘they’.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s