Stella Morris Investigates! – Micro Fiction for Jane Dougherty – episode 3



Stella looked down at the kid on the passenger seat. She didn’t know much about children, but she was pretty sure they weren’t supposed to be that skinny. She was pretty sure about some other stuff, too. She was pretty sure she could lose her license for this. She was pretty sure she didn’t know what to do next. But she was damn certain she couldn’t have left the kid there. That place had a stink of evil about it.

Picking up the kid had slowed her down, though, and the 2 figures she’d tracked from the ruins of the temple folly to the underground complex had got away. She shrugged. She’d have other chances to catch up with Rex Brandenburg.

Suddenly she noticed a green glow way up ahead – the woman from the folly. She DID seem to glow, lighting up the trees around her as she slipped into the woods and vanished.

Shortly after that, she spotted a strange shape in the road, and swerved to avoid it. The car skidded, spun round and stopped. She got out to look.

It was a man, wrapped so tightly in some green creeper that he’d been unable to breathe. And she recognised his face.

This is for Jane Dougherty’s Friday microfiction prompt. She’s kind of suggested we might like to continue our stories, or do stand alone pieces. I’m quite enjoying Stella’s company, so I’m sticking with her for a while – and I want to see what happens next! The image is by Else Berg. I find it rather disturbing.

6 thoughts on “Stella Morris Investigates! – Micro Fiction for Jane Dougherty – episode 3

  1. I didn’t spot any dangling thingies (damn) but you should always write numbers lower than ten in letters. I’d look for something other than ‘Shortly after that’ as it’s a bit vague and has a leisurely feel to it that is rather at odds with the effect you want to put across. It’s always a good idea to avoid words like ‘seems’ as they (apparently) distance the reader from the action. Be definite about what’s happening, it is or it isn’t. Apart from that, I can’t wait to find out what nastiness you’re going to subject that poor child to.


  2. Pingback: Microfiction challenge The child: the entries – Jane Dougherty Writes

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