In that moment, as he lowered his voice and leaned towards me, as he gave me his bruising words, in that moment, I changed from being myself to being someone else. My body became a public thing, my health became someone else’s responsibility. My breast became the place where my enemy lurked, stealing from me – my future, my happiness, my content, my ease. I changed from being visible to being invisible, hidden behind a mask of diagnosis, investigation, medication, prognosis. Words I scattered freely became darts that caused me pain. My children became sources of fear and anxiety. All the other changes led on from that moment. The scars, the skin that aged overnight, the hair thing – I’m a blonde now, not a brunette. What stays the same? Love, I think, the love that holds us in place, that feeds our selves, that keeps us taking one step after another, that reaches out and intertwines with the fine threads of family and friends and home. Love that reminds us that there is always morning, there will be a morning, the sun will rise.
Even in the dark
There is the promise of light
Birdsong calls us home.
Oh, this is brutiful – beautiful, brutal. So well done. Wishing you many years of good health and happiness.
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Thank you.
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There is so much pain concentrated in that single moment, then finding your way back into that terra firma of what’s stable, love.. a great write Sarah
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Thank you for sharing such a personal, powerful haibun! Beautifully written – love is unchanging indeed.
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Indeed, cancer does make tremendous changes in us. I am a grateful cancer survivor. And yes, only love remains the same. Beautiful haiku to crown this amazing haibun.
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You are a brave woman. Thank you for sharing this personal story, so eloquently and bravely penned. It reminds us that love can be a very strong and reliable power in the worst of times. The last line of your prose really touched my heart.
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the intensity of your experiences leap from your words!
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Sarah, this is so emotive. Out of that moment of intense pain arises the beautiful understanding that love endures. You are so brave and beautiful.
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Thank you. I don’t often write about my cancer thing – though, of course, I’m ALWAYS writing about my cancer thing – but I was thinking about change, and how sometimes it can happen in an instant.
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It takes a lot of courage to share.. 💖 my heart goes out to you.
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A powerful write. Two of my best friends have survived breast cancer. A hard journey, but one that made even more of them
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