Back in the day
You were my astronaut baby
And I was your universe
And part of me thought
I would always be able to
Keep you safe,
But, of course,
Even then you kicked
And pushed against the world,
Seeking to be free.
It’s a special day at dVerse – Quadrille #44 – those poets who use all the words will be stretched to the limit! De is keeping bar at the poets’ pub tonight, and asks us to write a poem in 44 words – no more, no less – including the word “kick”.
I love that you took that approach to kick… like X did it’s one that I would never have thought of since we don’t have children..
LikeLiked by 1 person
I played with lots of ideas, but that’s the one that stuck. Once I had that astronaut baby floating there, I had to go with him…
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOVE it! ….. you were my astronaut baby and I was your universe….I am certain there is a song in those words! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Lillian! Maybe there is…
LikeLiked by 1 person
“And I was your universe” — as a mama, this leaves me without breath. Just beautiful.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you!
LikeLike
Ha. Our thoughts were not that much different today.
They were so much easier once upon a time. Actually mine are teenagers now,
so they are a little easier to handle.
I probably should not say that out loud.
The astronaut//universe connection you make to being in the womb
is really cool.
LikeLike
That kick is really important. Mine are teenagers, too. Easier in some ways…
LikeLike
I thought this was going to be a Major Tom poem. That was all that ‘kick’ suggested to me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha! I see what you mean ☺️
LikeLike
Once I’d got him orbiting in my head I couldn’t think of anything else 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Lovely thoughts in this. I’m not a mother and haven’t had much contact with children but this reminds me of how my mother would have felt. I like the take on this…you were my universe…lovely.
LikeLike
‘You were my astronaut baby And I was your universe’ is so beautiful Sarah and yes, I can see a song here too!
LikeLike
Wonderful, Sarah! I love the astronaut baby/universe metaphor, and children kicking and pushing and kicking against the world – an old story that will be repeated again and again, but is always new to each generation.
LikeLike
Oh yes, and parents will struggle with getting the balance right every time.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You softened the kick with these marvellous maternal moments
LikeLike
Thank you!
LikeLike
Poetry in its true form… astronaut baby and you, the universe. The picture you paint with this is beautiful.
LikeLike
Have I ever encountered such a visionary metaphor before (one I, uh-hum, took too literally at first glance :)) ? Nope! What an amazing write!
LikeLike
One can only keep them safe for so long, but it is a memorable time.
LikeLike
Absolutely.
LikeLike
And we should let them go free, smiles ~ I too love:
You were my astronaut baby
And I was your universe
LikeLike
We have to. That’s what it’s all about…
LikeLike
Lovely take on the prompt.
LikeLike
Thank you!
LikeLike
This worked so well, Sarah. It must be such a challenge to see those little ones grow and become their own persons.
LikeLike
Fabulously written…some kick harder than others!
LikeLike
Thank you. I was going to go for something a bit more kick-ass, but once I had that astronaut baby in my mind I couldn’t ignore him.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Like others, a clever and heartfelt write – such a lot in these 44 words.
LikeLike
Thank you. Sometimes 44 words seems like a lot! and sometimes not very much at all. I do like a quadrille.
LikeLike
This is so sweet. What a tender take at the word “kick”. Loved it.
LikeLike
Thank you!
LikeLike
Love the big ideas you tackle with so few words- the parental push-pull of freedom vs. safety. Really nice!
LikeLike
Thank you! It’s amazing what you can do in a quadrille sometimes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bravo! The tension is perfect in this one; and so the world keeps turning and the kids have kids and become us, and the experience is rolled along.
LikeLike
Such an amazing, beautiful poem–astronaut baby and I was your universe. Wow.
It made me think though of when my younger daughter was about three, and she asked me, “Do you remember when I was in your belly, and I hiccupped and that made you laugh?”
LikeLike