Sonnet I – Moving on.

Among the shots of faces that I care for
too many snaps of things I don’t recall –
I’m cleaning up my life’s hard drive, and therefore
I’ll make a conflagration of it all –
these shoes will never clack down marble halls,
that dress is meant for places I won’t go,
crochet, it seems, is not my thing at all,
and how that box set ends? I’ll never know.
I’m shedding all those lives I’ll never lead,
throwing away the clothes I’ll never wear,
divesting all those books I’ll never read,
discarding all the posts that I won’t share –
those unlived lives are beautiful as snow,
but snow must melt. It’s time to let them go.

This is my first sonnet for Bjorn’s https://dversepoets.com/2019/01/03/poetry-forms-the-sonnet/‘s dVerse prompt. It’s a Shakespearean style sonnet – the kind I was brought up on. I’ve always found sonnets a little tricky – that final couplet feels like a punchline.

35 thoughts on “Sonnet I – Moving on.

  1. A volta is a lot like a punchline… and many of Shakespeare’s sonnet have just a punchline. I like the thought of clearing out the wardrobes… it seems we have been doing the same on the first day of the year… as a matter of fact it seems to be a favorite thing to do…

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  2. I’m pleased to see that you’ll be writing more than one sonnet, Sarah. I wasn’t sure if we could. I’m also glad that you’ve chosen to write a Shakespearean style sonnet – it’s the kind I was brought up on too!
    I like the bit about cleaning up life’s hard drive and shedding all those lives you’ll never lead I find it so hard to throw away anything and I know that I have to soon. My favourite lines have to be:
    ‘those unlived lives are beautiful as snow,
    but snow must melt. It’s time to let them go’.
    I’m a sucker for rhyming couplets!

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  3. Oh Sarah….loving this. And don’t we all have a closet full (literally and figuratively) of “lives” we’ll never lead and yet we stuff them away….Have you heard of the Simplicity movement? As in to rid ourselves of “stuff” we do not really need. I smiled at the crochet point here. I have bits of yarn and hanks of yarn I bought so long ago with all good intentions….😊
    Enjoyed this very much!

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  4. Your short consonant sounds(d, c), repeated at various times, work to heighten the sense of expelling things. We expel air to say them, just as the voice of this excellent sonnet is expelling items. That closing couplet is wonderful!

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  5. Sarah, this is such a fun sonnet, it just might inspire me to get going this morning. It would be a shame to change any of it. As I read it the suspense was building and I kept thinking that in the pile of all that stuff she is going to find something that she JUST can’t part with, a letter, or a relationship… or maybe something that has to be discarded that rends the heart. Your Volta has a beautiful shift in perspective, characterizing the clutter as beautiful as snow is very lovely and it would be sad to see that discarded. But increasing the emotional distance between the argument-Volta-resolution would amplify the punch. I hesitated to mention this, and only do so since the argument body of the poem seems to build flawlessly toward a sharper emotional turn, shifting the poem from wants to needs, and from stuff to people, changing from a poem that makes one chuckle, to one that makes you cry. Having said that, this made me actually chuckle, and that felt good. Ironically, your Volta and resolution are my second favorite part of the poem, and I would hate to see them melt away. My favorite line is “I’m shedding all those lives I’ll never live.” Thank you Sarah, your two Sonnets this link are quite different, and both wonderful. 🙂

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    • Lona – thank you for this lovely long comment. It was great to get such clear feed back. I was quite excited – it made me feel really respected as a writer. I’ve been back and looked at the poem, and I think you are right – the volta doesn’t really “volt” enough. However, I’ve never been very good at “killing my darlings”, and I like the beginning and the ending…what to do?
      I’ve done a complete re-write (almost), and I’m going to post that as well. That seems a bit greedy…4 sonnets!…but there you go.

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      • It is hard to change something so wonderful, so I like the idea of a second poem, different days, different perspective, that’s life. Like Monet setting up multiple canvases to catch the same scene in different light. I am looking forward to seeing it.

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  6. the closing is just fabulous – soft and yet hard, cutting, like snow often is – and it’s a wonderful comparison …. perfect ending to this sonnet, which also has the feeling of a list poem, so it makes for an interesting combination, while writing to the form of the traditional.

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  7. I can relate to this poem. I found myself saying “yes” to every line…and the ending is perfect. The subject speaks to me so much I’m going to save it and reread whenever I need a little inspiration to shed the unimportant things.

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