Venus sways in,
waist cinched tight,
heels high,
hips tick-tocking
like a metronome
she looks at him
the God of War,
sprawled across the
cheap bedspread,
stubble-chinned and
snoring.
“Oh, honey mine”,
she croons,
letting her fingers
do a slow dance
among the hot,
damp hairs
on his hot damp
belly
“Lick me like I’m candy,
crush me till I burn”
but there’s nothing doing here.
She looks at him
with god-cold eyes,
and wonders how it came to this –
how she left her
clever-handed husband
for this bar-room brawler,
with a broken sword
and a half-dead droptop.
At the window
she looks down
at the tempting streetlights
wonders what happens next.
Gods crave worship.
We’re playing (with) computer games at dVerse tonight. I’m hosting, and I’d love to see you there.
What a great prompt this is, Sarah! Thanks so much for the creative muse and hosting today.
LOVE the description here….you have the reader right in the head of Venus. And the ending is superb.
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Thanks, Lillian. I had a lot of fun with this one. Noir Olympus.
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I love how you brought in the Gods to such a mundane world… the closing is perfect…
Gods crave worship
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Great visuals with this. I think the thrill is gone….
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I think you’re right. It ran like a film in my head.
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Haha- Sarh- I love how the flame seems to have died and your description of the God of War bright a smile!
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I like this one, Sarah! It is extremely visual, like a film. Who’d you imagine for Venus? I thought Colin Farrell for the god of war.
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Originally it was Marilyn (who else???) but if we’re bringing it up to date, I think Gillian Anderson could do jaded beauty very well.
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I imagined Marilyn. Don’t know Gillian Anderson. No relation of Pamela, I suppose?
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It rolled out like a film for me, actually, so I’m glad that came across.
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It did!
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Nice illustration for the prompt; campy and cinematic for sure. Robert Redford, now 80 as the God of War, and Lady Gaga as Venus.
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I could read this over and over, ‘hips tick-tocking’ had me grinning at the screen. Such perfect wording. The use of language through is just masterful.
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This is great Sarah! Great swagger, great attitude. Witty and enjoyable to read!
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you took those games and turned them into a poetic story – nice!
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Ha Ha, broken sword indeed… he must have stayed too long at the pub!!
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I love what you’ve done with mythological figures and a cinematographic scene, Sarah! From Venus’s hips ‘tick-tocking like a metronome’ to the let-down of a ‘stubble-chinned and snoring’ bar-room brawler. I also like her ‘god-cold eyes’ and his ‘broken sword’ and ‘half-dead droptop’. ‘Broken Sword’ was once my favourite video game!
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So fitting for the season and so sensuous, love the detailed images.
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Ah, what a sordid tale. The moral of course is that the grass is not always greener!
Bravo
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Nice phrase: “god-cold eyes”
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Oh that first stanza was amazingly good. Such a dramatic piece. Loved it…and loved the prompt. 🙂
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“for this bar-room brawler,
with a broken sword”
Love the flow and humour of this piece…JIM
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