Pebbles – pantoum for dVerse

I’m thinking now of all the time we spent,

Heads together,with the wild gulls crying,

Carefully choosing – some stayed, and some went –

And all the while, the sea sighing.

Heads together, with the wild gulls crying,

We chose one if it gave us pleasure,

And all the while, the sea sighing,

As we amassed our glittering treasure

We chose one if it gave us pleasure

We brought it home, a fragment of our past,

As we amassed our glittering treasure:

A twisting shell, a sea-worn piece of glass.

We brought it home, a fragment of our past,

When you were young, and muddy, and ran wild

A twisting shell, a sea-worn piece of glass,

A stick, a stone, all treasure to a child

When you were young, and muddy, and ran wild

Carefully choosing – some stayed and some went –

A stick, a stone, all treasure to a child:

I’m thinking now of all the time we spent.

This is the first pantoum I ever wrote – all the way back in June 2016. I thought I’d include it for comments and feedback. WordPress has done that thing again, where it just ignores my formatting – sorry about that. This is being reposted for the dVerse form exploration. Get over there and have a look.

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9 thoughts on “Pebbles – pantoum for dVerse

  1. this one is delightful Sarah, almost like looking in a reflective pool and seeing the poem bounce back at me, your rhythm is jaunty and like the waves keeps coming to shore in perfect timing. i really love how from your choice of lines you have flipped the meaning in the penultimate. your first – wow – i am deeply impressed.

    Like

  2. It has the feeling of the sea indeed. I can hear the wind blowing, and the waves making conversation impossible. But the treasures! they keep, and they send us back when we are far away. (K)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I love the way the sea sounds in this pantoum, Sarah: the wild gulls crying and the sea sighing, as well as the sights of the glittering treasure: ‘A twisting shell, a sea-worn piece of glass’. Stunning.

    Like

  4. This has lots of the lovely echoes the Pantoum form seems to help create. Agree about wordpress and formatting. I try writing in HTML and then checking it in the normal view. That’s why I divided mine with stanza headings by the way!

    Liked by 1 person

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