The ocean here is cold, and fierce, and grey
The shore you walk is many miles away
Gina is leading us through the pantoum this month. DVerse is looking at different forms – we’ve had the sonnet, the rubaiyat, and now the pantoum. Go over to her original post for a really good description.
When I was reading Gina’s post, this caught my eye:
In Malaysia, my home country, the pantun is still very popular at weddings where the older relatives from both sides of the bridal party will exchange love “pantun” blessing the newlyweds a blissful first night together and a long happy marriage.What an amazing idea – I would love to have had that at my wedding! Though I’m not sure what the in-laws would have come up with…
Anyhow, I wondered if we could do something similar online, so these lines are the A and C lines of the first verse of Sarah and Gina’s joint pantoum. We’ll add to it in the comments, and see how it goes!
Sarah writes poems 
What fun! I can’t wait to see what you come up with!
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some of the pantun thrown back and forth could get quite colourful Sarah!
thank you for starting this. I am really excited to do do this with you renga style!
am on the poetry trail reading all the recent contributions and will write my lines soon in reply to yours here. a very good start!
what an awesome idea!!
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No rush, Gina – there’s a lot to read! I think there were over 70 rubaiyats by the end!
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haha i know and each one is so lovely i need to read it at least twice and ponder for awhile! happy that you have initiated this though!
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The ocean here is cold, and fierce, and grey
The shore you walk is many miles away
the waves create an imprint on the sand
ripples connecting our earth end to end
ok here goes mine! i am sure we will doing lots of edits but thrilled to see how our lines will interlock.
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gosh i just pasted that wrong
here is the right one:
“The ocean here is cold, and fierce, and grey
the waves create an imprint on the sand
The shore you walk is many miles away
ripples connecting our earth end to end”
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The waves create an imprint in the sand
My footprints mark the way that I have come
Ripples connecting our earth end to end
One ocean glimmering beneath one sun
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My footprints mark the way that I have come
The path ahead is long and yet unknown
One ocean glimmering beneath one sun
I see other footprints, I know am not alone
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The path ahead is long and yet unknown
I wait for stars to shine and as I wait
I see other footprints. I know I’m not alone,
Yet I’m afraid to follow, I hesitate
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I wait for stars to shine and as I wait
the shore you walk is many miles away
Yet I’m afraid to follow, I hesitate
The ocean here is cold, and fierce, and grey
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Yay!!! I was wondering how wew were going to finish it. I’ll write it up properly, with an explanation, and link it up. Thanks for doing this with me ☺️
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my pleasure Sarah! you gave that final wrap up, which was brilliant, the lines just connected. thank you for writing it all up, i am excited to see it published, and waiting to reblog it! nice work! i enjoyed it very much!
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It was completely accidental. I thought I was being a bit mean, actually…
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why would you? it was an interesting challenge and good practice
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I meant the last couplet looked a bit tricky – and then you spotted that it worked so well! Thank you for doing this with me, I really enjoyed it, and I think I learned a lot about how the pantoum works as a form. I’ve put it up as a separate post, and linked it up to Mr Linky.
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You have a very cool beginning…looking forward to seeing it evolve. The pantoum is one of my favourite forms.
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Thank you. I’m really looking forward to seeing how it goes. Maybe we should set up some more 😊
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Great idea! (K)
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Beautiful! Look forward to the progression,
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Wow!
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