We go to the sea – lai nouveau for dVerse

We go to the sea,
find a place to breathe
and sigh;
somehow we believe
each wave sets us free –
we fly –
everything we see
adds strength to this creed.

From the world we flee,
you are next to me,
you’re my
love, my apple tree,
oh, you nourish me,
and I
find a place to breathe:
we go to the sea.

This is a Lai Nouveau, for this month’s Form for All prompt for dVerse. I have to say, I’m finding this the hardest form so far. It’s so small, so structured, so rhyme-y. It’s hard to say anything that isn’t a cliche. Apparently the English language has a shortage of rhymes – Italian is much easier to rhyme in. That’s my excuse, anyway.

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17 thoughts on “We go to the sea – lai nouveau for dVerse

  1. “It’s so small, so structured, so rhyme-y.” A perfect description of this form. I think you’ve done a beautiful job with this one. I think the Lai Nouveau is easier because there are fewer two-syllable lines to rhyme.

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  2. I like rhyme, but I’m not thrilled at all with this form. I think I like your first stanza better than the second. It flows more naturally. If that makes sense. (I’ve been writing about sexual harassment all day, so my words are kind of tied in knots right now.) πŸ™‚

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  3. This flows well and manages to rhyme and make sense at the same time (I mean that in the best possible way, I’m still trying to figure out the meaning of my own attempts!). I particularly like the first verse because the rhymes are off rhymes (or slant rhymes ?), which takes away that sing song nursery rhyme quality that this form seems to generate .

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