Summer rain – dizain for dVerse

I’d half forgotten the sound of the rain
falling from leaf to leaf down to the clay,
but listen, here it comes, falling again –
after these days of still blue skies, trees sway
and the rain dances like a child at play,
and suddenly the world is coloured green,
the roses waken from their summer dream –
as rain falls, slakes the dry soil, gives relief,
the world is freshly made and freshly clean,
the summer’s dust is washed from every leaf.

This is my first dizain for the dVerse form for all for July. I have to say that 10 syllables is quite uncomfortable for me. It’s quite a long line, yet not quite long enough…I like the rhyme scheme, though, and I think I might get the hang of it be the end of the month. Rosemary Nissen Wade is out host for this month, and gives a lovely explanation of the dizain and some great examples.

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12 thoughts on “Summer rain – dizain for dVerse

  1. Absolutely lovely, Sarah. I found that the 10-syllable line became easier with practice, and after a little while I started thinking in dizains, lol. I had to make an effort to train myself out of it again to write other forms of poetry.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I’ve just posted a second one and we have been thinking along the same lines—this damn heat! I do like the idea of the rain waking the roses from their sleep.
    I agree with you that just counting the syllables doesn’t make a smooth sound. It needs a beat too. I don’t find that iambic pentametre is really more restricting than the syllable count .

    Like

  3. The heat and relief from it seem to be much on everyone’s minds.
    I think you’ve gotten the rhythm of this really well. I agree that long lines can be difficult–I’m struggling with it myself. (K)

    Like

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