All those cheap metaphors –
the road, the river
the road as if we’re heading somewhere burning fuel
not just circling spiralling burning time, but look –
we have direction
map
compass
purpose
the river as if we’ll reach carried thoughtless
some open ocean see the sunlight on the water
wide armed
welcoming
rough waved
forbidding
and yet we circle round the stone steps up and down
whirlpool
vortex
beckoning
waiting to dissolve us
in its swirling waters
fingerprint swirl thumbprint on the clouds
in the great sea
and all the while
we are spinning
circling
spiralling
out and away
seductive entropy
Amaya is hosting at dVerse tonight, and we are looking at movement – our own movements, population movements, wherever the prompt takes us.
nice use of such terse wording
LikeLike
Nice last line with the description of entropy as seductive.
LikeLike
I like your use of entropy as seduction!
LikeLike
You definitely used a lot of movements here Sarah, with a good summary of: seductive entrophy.
LikeLike
I like the way you have shown us that all our movement is confined, while the spinning earth has no bounds as the Sun travels through the Milky Way!!
LikeLike
Your poem reminds me of a line from Longfellow’s, “A Psalm of Life” : “funeral marches to the grave”. In your poem, the swirling is like the sound of marching feet. Beautiful writing, Sarah.
LikeLike
great rhythm to this….I like the occasionally sardonic tone!
LikeLike
I like the ambiguity of the title, Sarah; ‘going somewhere’ could be a question, an idea or a goal. And then you take us to the sea, where anything is possible, a wonderful metaphor for life. I love the phrase ‘fingerprint swirl thumbprint on the clouds; and the final ‘seductive entropy’.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I see an illusion while reading this piece: the feeling as if you’re going somewhere, but despite all the jagged up-and-downs and roundabouts, you find yourself in the same place you started. I think you touch on a taboo fear here, Sarah, and I’m so glad you chose to write this for this particular prompt.
LikeLike