GoDogGo – measure twice, cut once #2

Even blindfolded, I could tell what fabric I’m cutting from the sound it makes. This is heavy, made to drape like snow across a girl’s hips. I know, because I wove it.

I wove it over the winter, a special commission. Pure white, reflecting the colours of the world. I didn’t use white thread, though – I used the soft grey wool from a lamb’s throat, jaybird feathers, words torn from old love letters, wisps of grass, dried violets, a single thread of my own brown hair. As I wove, I whispered old words over them, san fold songs – songs of snow and ice, of clouds and gulls and seafoam. I made white through my own will.

Now I’m sewing a wedding gown for a princess. She will look like a rose flowering in the snow. The prince will turn and look at her, and his face will light up, as it lit up when he used to look at me.

I smile as I stitch. I embroider this smooth, white cloth with snowdrops and lilies, with white roses and lily-of-the valley. When it’s finished, there’s only one flaw – that single thread of my hair, dancing across the train. I leave it there, just to remind him of me.

This is for the Writing Workshop Challenge at GoDogGo Cafe, facilitated by Tanya Cliff. I posted version I of this a week (ish) ago. We’ve been asked to reduce our word count by at least 10%. That meant I needed to lose 22 words. I’ve cut it down by 23. It’s hard, because I think this piece depends on the piling up of images – and I’m not a very good editor. However, I’m learning.

10 thoughts on “GoDogGo – measure twice, cut once #2

  1. Sarah, I love this! “I wove them carefully, whispering” became “As I wove, I whispered…” Excellent!
    That is expert crafting. The edited version is strong and lyric.

    Sorry it took me so long to comment. Our kitty had surgery this week and just got home yesterday. It has been crazy around here.

    I will be really interested to see what you do with tomorrow’s challenge. It is short and easy, and you already have a component of it captured.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: WRITER’S WORKSHOP I, Week 3, Curveball Challenge | Go Dog Go Cafรฉ

  3. Kind of creepy and delicious. I love the ingredients, especially the torn letters (from the prince?) the metaphor of draping like snow ( first line) doesn’t work for me but I can see the curve of a snowdrift over a hip and the ‘deadness’ of having a girl buried in snow.

    Liked by 1 person

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