I could never resist a handsome face. I’d see him, leaning over the side of a boat, and I’d be struck by a lightning bolt of desire. I’d hear a voice raised in song and my heart would burst open. Always a shock, always sudden. I don’t know why.
I was surprised every time love started. Or ended.
My blood is colder than theirs, of course, and my life much longer. Handsome boys grow pale and lose their beauty. Their fingers pucker in salt water. Their singing stops, and they yearn for sunlight, green grass, the feeling of air in their lungs.
Suddenly they bore me, and then, with one flick of my silver tail, I’m gone. Off in search of the next handsome boy who strays too close to the water. Off in search of something like love.
Merrill is hosting Prosery at dVersetonight. Our quotation is “I don’t know why I was surprised every time love started or ended” from I wanted to be surprised by Jane Hirshfield. 144 words of flash fiction – prose, not poetry. Whatever next?
What a super piece of flash fiction! Inventive and beautifully crafted. Over the last few years I’ve read 5000 or so pieces of flash fiction and this is in the top half dozen.
LikeLike
Wow, thank you very much.
LikeLike
You have to join this challenge… you will love using a complete sentence from poetry in flash.
LikeLike
I agree this is a wonderful piece of fiction… the way you slowly reveal the voice of the narrator… how “Their fingers pucker in salt water” until that flash of a silver tail
LikeLike
I agree with Bjorn and really enjoyed your creativity.
LikeLike
Lovely poetic piece, Sarah. What all the others said.
LikeLike
Wonderful, Sarah! Yes, with Jane–what the others said. I love how your narrator slowly reveals herself.
LikeLike
Never trust a Silkie. Never lean too far out of a boat. In Sydney, Australia, they tell you not to trail your hands or feet in the water from a boat because of sharks.
LikeLike
Such a writerly piece. You nailed it! Good, good, writing. 🙂
LikeLike
Perfect Sarah- I love the way you broke up the sentence.
LikeLike
Oh my goodness, I cant TELL you how much I love this! Absolutely superb.
LikeLike
Just like eating oysters. Maybe one day she’ll find a pearl.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Aw, I should have worked that in.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can never resist a mermaid’s tail/tale, Sarah, and yours is cleverly and vividly crafted. I love the penultimate paragraph, comparing mermaid and human, and the final paragraph is a flick of the tale indeed.
LikeLike
Excellent flash (of a fin) fiction! Poor boys who fell (in) for her…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. Exemplary use of brackets there.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh so wonderful, Sarah! Love the mermaid’s tale (and tail)!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bravo!!!
Much✏love
LikeLike
A mermaid’s tail….tale! 🙂 I loved this. Made me smile over my morning coffee today. And gosh, can’t we all use some smiles right now? THANK YOU!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Lillian. Strange times.
LikeLike
Excellent! Like Bjorn, I especially love that line: “Their fingers pucker in salt water”
LikeLike