Snapshot – pandemic insomnia

3am and I’m awake
not even sure what I’m thinking

out there, there are bean plants
unfurling in the dark,
those fat first leaves,

and I’m wondering
what will happen now, and

out there, the stars
are moving in fixed patterns
jazzed by satellites

and I have fragments of fears
and questions
and an emptiness in my belly, and

out there, moths are waltzing
in their crazy dances

and I’m awake
listening to your breathing, and

out there, bats are diving,
sonar-guided

and we have no guide,
no rhythm, no pattern –
we are unfurling
fractal humans
seeking a new shape.

Just sneaking in to Earthweal this week – wondering about the future, full of uncertainty. As usual with Brendan’s prompts, my  head is full of half-thoughts and broken images, and a sense of urgency that I find hard to capture.

6 thoughts on “Snapshot – pandemic insomnia

  1. We’re unfurling like the bean plants, everything striving to live under whatever conditions we find ourselves in. I love your work. On Monday Brendan and I are holding an online protest – do hope you will come, unfurl your banner, and protest whatever keeps you awake at night – or feel free to protest it all!

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  2. Fractal humans seeking a new shape – what a wonderful way of describing the inter-connection between us all in this collective experience of the pandemic and also of our connection to the natural world – the unfurling bean shoot, the moths and the stars. I loved your poem. It is one to savour and reflect on.
    Your thoughts on the Earthweal prompts correspond with my own. They are compelling.

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  3. The unsettledness is palpable in the rhythm. Everything is more intense at 3 am. And yet…the natural world calls, leads us into other realms, other ways. Which will we choose? (K)

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