I lost you

I’ve considered the shade of your lips
as they fade from rose-red to bone-white
and reached for your cold finger tips
in the depths of the shuddering night

I have cried, I have screamed, I have wept,
I have watched for the pale light of dawn,
I have dreamed that you lay there and slept,
I have woken and found you were gone

I have heard the cold song your blood sings
on wild nights, when the moon rides the clouds
and a blade is a beautiful thing
when you choose from a veil or a shroud

I have curled in a ball on the ground
I have stretched from the earth to the sky
I have searched, but I never have found,
I have lived, but I never can die.

Lucy is a guest host at dVerse tonight, and asks us to write a dark ballad.

23 thoughts on “I lost you

  1. Oh to be immortal and have to choose between watching a loved one die or dooming them to a similar fate.
    “a blade is a beautiful thing
    when you choose from a veil or a shroud”
    Haunting ballad!

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  2. This is so heartbreaking and tragic, Sarah! This stanza really encompasses the grief that the narrator feels:

    “I have cried, I have screamed, I have wept,
    I have watched for the pale light of dawn,
    I have dreamed that you lay there and slept,
    I have woken and found you were gone”

    Devastating. The last couple lines changed this poem entirely, and like Lisa said, the choice is not clear whether to live forever with your love or having them live forever but suffer with watching all those around them die. That is so haunting. Such a fantastic piece from start to finish!

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  3. Your ballad is so deeply touching, Sarah, and beautifully written. The opening lines are delicate, I love the use of colour and those ‘cold finger tips in the depths of the shuddering night’, which hooked me immediately, and then I almost drowned in the raw emotion of the second stanza. You’ve also described haunting wonderfully in ‘I have heard the cold song your blood sings / on wild nights’ and how tragic to have lived but never die.

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  4. I know you describe this as ‘camp’ but isn’t a ballad meant to be a song, to deal with a story we can relate to, in a rather formulaic setting? This is a good one, seems to me, with rhythm, rhyme, and an original twist on a familiar story.

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  5. This is wonderful, tragic, and just begs to be sung… the repetition works as a refrain, and I can really see this set to music. I like how it can be interpreted in many ways, with the twist, in the end, making me think of a vampire myth,

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