I wake alone, too early in this pale heat,
the petalled dawn glimmers around me, and I
am fox-curled,
snake coiled,
eyes hawked,
sleepless and dreamless.
What would you have made of me?
Garnets from blood,
sapphires from eyes,
white pearls from tissue,
opals from bones?
I was your diamond mine,
your jewellery box,
I was red velvet, crushed,
I was blue satin,
torn and plundered.
The consumed moon curls like a day-old crust of bread,
and I lean back into my yellow dreams,
my azure slumbers.
I dream of lemons,
nightingales,
of broken glass and
dripping honey.
This is solitude’s wish,
this empty bed,
these smooth, cool sheets,
and these white petals,
morning blossoms
falling, falling, falling,
so tender on my fevered skin.
This is for Laura at dVerse, who asks us to look at the work of Samuel Greenberg, in particular Loose Pages. I’ve taken five of his “charms” and tried to emulate his listing poem – but WordPress isn’t mad keen on fancy formatting. Oh well, I tried.
oh what a wonderful jumbled collection of contrapuntal picture words
“I dream of lemons,
nightingales,
of broken glass and
dripping honey.”
You let loose here with this one and I’m sure Greenberg would be delighted
p.s. I was only able to format the verses by selecting html from the block choices. Not sure what you wanted to do but if it was to indent the lines its something like this – between each paragraph every space is coded as &nsbp; For example
nightingales
thats 2 spaces
Does any of this make sense?!
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Thank you Laura. I’ll play around with the html stuff when I’m feeling patient!
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I am literally swooning right now! 😍 Such masterful rendering of the charms here, Sarah! I love; “The consumed moon curls like a day-old crust of bread, and I lean back into my yellow dreams.” 💝💝
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Thank you, Saana. I enjoyed this prompt much more than I expected to. It just kept growing.
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This is how to ‘do’ surreal that makes sense. I can see and smell all those images. Lovely poem.
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Thank you, Jane! I can’t bring myself to stray too far from the comprehensible. I don’t care and I won’t do it.
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Me neither. English is a beautiful supple, inventive language without any need to add bells and whistles to it.
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I love the surreal and the way you created new lists and charms that connected like a necklace of your own. The imagery of using the gems I liked especially
What would you have made of me?
Garnets from blood,
sapphires from eyes,
white pearls from tissue,
opals from bones?
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Great title, great poem, Sarah! I especially enjoyed ‘he petalled dawn glimmers around me, and I / am fox-curled’ – those foxes are getting in everywhere! My favourite lines:
‘Garnets from blood,
sapphires from eyes,
white pearls from tissue,
opals from bones?’
and
‘The consumed moon curls like a day-old crust of bread’.
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Wonderfully surreal, well done.
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Oh my word, this is AMAZING. So much to love about this poem with your word choice and word-flow. I loved this stanza the most:
“What would you have made of me?
Garnets from blood,
sapphires from eyes,
white pearls from tissue,
opals from bones?”
It makes me think of talking to someone that is not physically there, or just calling out to an entity of sorts in these lines. Such fantastic writing with dark imagery to captivate the reader. This is honest and raw. I love it. Excellent work on this piece. I’m just stunned!
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I see this as written by someone who has (somehow) gotten away and is now able enjoy her world. The imagery is stellar and the relief at the end is palpable.
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Beautiful!
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You had me at “eyes hawked, sleepless and dreamless”. Lots of wonderful word-weaving here. It was nice to read a piece that closes with an upbeat vibe.
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“I am fox-curled…..eyes hawked….” Delightful! “I dream of lemons, nightingales….dripping honey.” Oh my goodness! Such a leasp of images. Fantastic. I always love reading you, am always amazed at the leaps of imagery.
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You could charm snakes… and Greenberg!
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It doesn’t matter too much the formatting, as you have certainly captured the essence of Greenberg’s writing in this charmed poem!
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Like a fevered dream, and just like an enchantment. (K)
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Late to the reading – apologies!
You’ve woven charms in to this write so very well. The imagery is divine.
These words especially struck me with their vivid metaphoric use
“I was your diamond mine,
your jewellery box,
I was red velvet, crushed,
I was blue satin,
torn and plundered.”
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