The club was her second home. It had made her leaner, fitter. She’d watched the muscles grow in definition on her arms and abdomen. She felt stronger.
She trudged there through rain, sweated there on sultry summer evenings, slipped on snowy pavements to get her fix.
She was one of three women there. The other two met up for coffee sometimes, she knew that – probably talked about her, the tattoo on her shoulder, the scars on her arms. She didn’t care. She just wanted to hit out.
There was only ever one face on the punch bag. Her father’s.
For the Friday Fictioneers. 99 words this time! Photo by J Hardy Carroll. Prompts organised by the inimitable Rochelle.
Dear Sarah,
Wonderful piece of character development in few words. The last line is a sucker punch to the gut. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you, Rochelle. Loving these prompts.
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Lovely bulid up there – could feel her need and an anger coming through the screen, especially when you say the other women met for coffee without her – ouch! Very strong writing Sarah
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Inspirational story. I especially like the rhythm of the first part.
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Great photo, thank you.
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Martial arts is good for a lot of reasons and people tend to not consider boxing. It’s good exercise and discipline and in her case, good for her mental health.
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Wonderful character sketch–so much conveyed in so few words. By the end, I’m rooting for her so much I want to punch him too!
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Thank you. I guess she’s there for a reason…
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Your story is beautifully constructed, drawing us in closer and closer. The writing is very economical; there’s good description, but it all serves to show character and drive the plot. I love the way you slip in ‘the scars on her arms’, telling us of self-harm or even suicide attempts. By the time you tell us it’s her father’s face on the bag, we’re almost willing to lynch him.
Great story-telling, Sarah!
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Great story. I thought it was going to be an ex-husband, but I think the father works better.
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Thank you! I think she has a very deep anger. I wonder how different a story it would be if you changed that face?
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Yes. Anger drives people to do the impossible.
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I loved your character – real, angry, and dangerous
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A lot of anger there, at least being channelled into something positive. Well written.
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Thank you
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Sarah, I feel like the other commentators have said it all, but very well done and I felt like punching those other women. I get sick of women in particular pairing up and passing judgement. You never know what someone has been through and whether they have actually moved from victim to victor and are an inspiration, rather than a bad person.
At the same time, we do need to be discerning and choose our friends wisely and these superficial indications and first impressions are often used to filter in or out. My daughter has just started high school and she’s making new friends who don’t know us, even though we are fairly involved in our community. She opted for a slumber party where we set up a tent in our backyard and I can understand parents’ concern and I would’ve been iffy with her staying over at a stranger’s house. So, I found myself trying to think of what to tell these parents to show we’re okay. I resorted to mentioning my long-standing involvement with the school parents & citizens group.
Best wishes,
Rowena
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Terrific portrait of a determined, potentially violent, abused outsider.
I like how the descriptive pieces all channel towards – forgive me – the punch line.
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Thank you. All puns forgiven! I think she’s quite scary, but lots of people are rooting for her.
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Oh the reasons we fight….
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Indeed.
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What a fabulously told tale, Sarah. I have to agree with the others, the way you draw us in and make us root for her. We all wanna punch him!
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If she ever starts on him…
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Oh I do love this story… and I do agree she should have met my character… maybe they would have hit it off. 🙂
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Or just hit each other….
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A tragedy told in a very few words. Brilliant story.
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So well done. She’s obviously battling something and then you sum it up so well in the last line.
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Great stuff. I have a punch bag hanging in my shed – a bag of many faces.
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😊
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The anger and resentment built up beautifully and then in the end a sucker punch. Very well done.
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Thank you!
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Wow! That ending really packed a punch.
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Woah, that was powerful stuff.
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All three of your last pieces pack a wallop. I enjoy reading you, Sarah.
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Thank you so much. That’s really encouraging 😊
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I can picture her… seriously. I have a friend who could easily match your description. Great write.
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Hmmmmmmmmm.
Very revealing.
Wonder how many can identify with her!
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A great build-up with a last line that packs a punch (groan). Nice job 🙂
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Yep, it was a knock-out.
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What an ending! Straight to the gut. Beautiful portrait of brokenness.
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Thank you!
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